Raya

This year not so much feeling for Raya, even i have 5 days off from work

Sitting here in front of my sister's laptop, writing this down what it's in my mind

I told ayun yesterday i never regret that i met him
Today i felt that i wish i could turn back time and just never met him

or

I wish i had a really bad accident and when i woke up i forgot him totally forever and ever

I am STILL the worst girlfriend ever. At times i never appreciate him and kept yelling at him.

It used to be, when i see him face i would just forget about everything and smile
The warm fuzzy feeling that i had before is gone now
If i have a bad day it remains that i have a bad day, with or without him

Ayun has been so patient with me all this while.

I wish i can stop this. I wish i have the courage to tell him to get out of my life, cuz i dont deserve such a wonderful guy like him