tipu kanan, tipu kiri

Yesterday ayun ajak me tengok muvie. actually i thought i wanna watch kami but its at 5 plus, and i didnt want to go back late again. and ayun said he wants to watch tipu kanan,tipu kiri. Being me, i already didnt like it, and i just thought, maybe its not that bad

but damn i was wrong. i was moaning in pain watching that show. i was sighing and i couldnt sit still. i practically feel like crying watching, its very bored and being me, i kinda hate this kinda shows.

i've been bored lately, and i have to really start studying. exams is near and i just want to pass the papers. But then i've been playing a whole lot of PSP. hehe
im crazy for need for speed underground game.

wawawa is there is sumthing i can do to fill up my time
than just me doing shisha, playing game and stuff.
its kinda hard to concentrate to study

hurm

friends.

I have alot of friends, and they come and go.
But i do have certain friends, which i keep them dearly in my hearts
SOme friends, just know me for a while, met online or through friends.
some friends, i knew them for years
When i have problems, the closest to me i share is with ayun.
Rarely i share to other prople except to complain, or when im having troubles with ayun himself.

Even my mum says she doent know who i am anymore
and
Mum says dad is worried about me,
that i've been going out to much, party and enjoying too much
and i did not study at all

I am not myself, but i dont feel like a loser either.
I feel bad about this,
maybe when it comes to studying, maybe im not good at it
When it comes to studies, i shine the least compared to my sisters.

I have nothing to make my parents proud,so they can brag about me with their friends...
Im just, stupid i guess.

I ruin alot of things, and most of the time, i dont mean it
I wish i can take it all back, before i lose my loved one's...



so here it goes

My family
to dad: sorry i always lepak at night, always coming back late.you must be worried sick
to mum: sorry i am always spending your money, and not go to class and study
to kak jackie: sorry you have to pay for my college fees, i hope o dont burden you.
to kak rose: sorry i drop bella once in malaysia, i really dont know how to take care of babies and toddlers back then
to kak mel: sorry i am the manja sister, and u always have to tell me things to do
to amy: sorry for not being a role model sister


and this is to my best friend, Thea,

sorry of what i wrote, sorry for what i did. I mean no harm, and maybe my words let you down, maybe my words are wrong, i never meant it. I never mean to be such a bitter. I dont mean to make u cry. Sorry. I know im such a disapointment.

And also to Tg. Aishah, Beehah, Yaya, and other people i know. Sorry if i make u sad, angry and down

Love you all very much,
Aisyah Adliana Binti Mohd Amran De Costa

shisha

i am graduating on doing shisha. =)
really, i make a good mean shisha now
i borrow nuar's shisha bottle and now i just got the hang of it, doing shisha
susah gak, banyak kerja, nak kena perah,cuci botol, then tebuk lubang,bakar arang
wawawa but itsworth it
I am shisha-ing right now

Tomorrow i have work,
working as a promoter in times square.
and im damn lazy to work!
but then when i think of the money,
i just force myself. im hoping i can work in convention centre again
please wish me luck, i hope they take me in,
its alot better anyway,even the pay is low, but we'll get the money terus.
kalau kerja promoter, gosh the pay is like fuck late.

working promoter like this, have to wait for the cheque, so damn long
harituh kerja walls pun belum dpt gaji. Ayun dah dapat,
guess i really have to kejar.
I am so kering kontang right now, i asked KJ (my eldest sister) for money,
and im jst waiting for ayun to help me here and there,like buy me lunch and such

about studies pulak, gosh i missed damn lot of classes, i just wish that i can cope.
I mean, i just hope i lulus all the paper,
atas tong pun atas tong lah,
i just dont want to repeat and such
and after CAT i prolly want to take a degree.
easier, i mean just have to maintain pointers,
after that also can add 5 papers and grad with ACCA
and i really wanna go oversea and study
lol

see how it goes
wa im so tired lol

lalala kerja lah

work.. i have to work if i want money!
x ada money, x jalan la.
Even mum told me that she's not going to give me money as much as she used to be
so i told her about my plan to extend another sem,obviously she doesnt like it.
I gave her the idea i want to work and study. and she fliped out. she said i missed alot, i fall back alot, and its look like im never going to graduate. lol. but if next semester, i have to take 4 subject. so how am i going to work and study at the same time like that? aiyo matilah..

anyway
i think i screw up a little.

i'm suppose to work tomorrow, but i cant since i have class.
and i really need to go to class.
I kept thinking that is going to be on the weekends,
not including friday
Even is mum checking up on me, calling my college to make sure im going to class
Im pretty sure i upset my agent *sigh*
Im a bit upset too, i really want to work and really find money lorh. @_@

well you cant have it all, i think?
Im going to work again in convention centre, its easier
I can always bully my bf to pick me up from work and such (haha)

Wish me all the best

tattoo

I love tattoo. But i cant have them, because of religion, and my family and friends too.
But if i can have them, here are the tatts that i want!



THis tattoo is inspired by HELL GIRL. If you want to know more about hell girl, go watch anime, or read about it in the net. seriously this tatt is rad



There are many,many sakura tatts lovers out there, including me. seriously if i can have it i would colour it at my back shoulder, creep to the front shoulder, and falls abit on my arm =D (like this one picture down here, but more sakura =] )



I will have tattoo of dragon,rabbit and tiger. in fact i may have to do 7 animals from chinese zodiak of my family. i love my family so much. Dragon is for me, Tiger is for mum,Rabit is for dad. Che semangat gila. Padahal mimpi je lebih ;)
Yelah, mana boleh buat tattoo kannnnn?

The day before yesterday

The day before yesterday i had a bbq. but i was heartbroken cuz none of my friends came except nuar and his clan, and it remind me what a true friend he is, he even finished up all the food. there were 7 of them, finished up 1 1/2 chicken and fish. althought they came at 12am, at least i am happy that they came.

Yesterday i had open house. my, my. It was very busy, a lot of people came, and there were not many of us to take care of everything. Since i did most of the housework in the morning, i asked for the refresh department (meaning i have to topup air kalau dah nak habis) and help around abit, but after 11 of my KPTM friends came, i stop washing the dishes and sat down and chat..mummy took over, and i guess, i felt pity that i didnt help her.anyways, my kptm friends, they were only here for a while, nevertheless, i am glad to see the whole kptm class came raya to my place (even im not studying there anymore). by the time were we done packing up everything, it was already about 8 plus. can you believe it? from 11.30 am until 7.30 pm non stop people coming to my place. i estimate about 100 people, so you guys might wanna think how many dishes to wash and such.the whole day i was being yelled by my family, ask to do work and all, and i instantly yell at ayun (even he did nothing wrong). it's the best open house we had so far =D (even tho its tiring)


today i went raya at To' Puan's house,eat "nasi dagang" (man i miss this food.hard to find in kl,kalau ada ,mahal) and then at Aunty Zaidah's house. she cook a mean speggeti. have u ever tasted spicy spagetti? it doesnt smell the way it is, but it taste nice, i even topup twice *wink2*


I asked ayun if he likes me short hair or long hair, and he said he likes me when the time i had to straighten my hair cuz of the silly punk look-kinda-hair, but i wont never go back to the haorstyle again. i waited so long for my hair to go this long, should i sacrifice it? i like short hair better, im always sweaty anf all, but then sayang pulak nak potong long hair nie.. then again ayin like me woth short hair too.maybe i should. hurmmm...

oh yea my eyes got like an infection or something.it hurts even tho i wink, and it felt hot, wattery and asyik taik mata keluar. i felt so serabut and tomorrow class start already, i dont want to go to class with my eyes like this. EEP!

i'm addicted to my psp, im playing ayun;s need for speed game. yeah.. sedap gak main kete2 nie =D
(by the way, i graduated from the sims 2:castaway game. Kudos for myself! LOL XP)

gotta go. nak mamam laksa, and main game XP

by the way, beehah wants me to mention her name often in the blog ;)
love u beehah =D

3days

3days in a row i cry my tears out.
Today amy came to me when she arrive at lekka lekka,
jet and wan (amy's frind) is there too,
amy was telling me that mum cried all day, wondering about me, when i care no less about her.
Truth is, i felt bad actually,fighting with my mum.
And thats not the worst part, Amy told me, that mum is losing her memory
(and i am losing my mind if this goes on)
but i already told ayun,that i will come back to kajang and behave,
come home before 10 , maximum is 11, (usualy i'll be back around 1+)
and when kak mel deliver the baby, i will help to take care until she goes back tp KPLI (the perguruan thing,) and when she finish the KPLI, so is my babysitting.
It will, bare in mind, i estimate it will be a year i'll be taking care of the baby
and its not easy,

especially when i have plan to move out, to study on my own and all
wish me all the best, even thought i will admit the same problem will arise

Come to think of it, i always write blog when im sad,angry,frustrated,sentimential.
I amlways emo, my blog should be call an "EMO BLOG" or something
Is it just me, or am i having too much problems?

when life let me down

Its not a great year for me.so is last year actually.
I want to change, i want to be better
I stop smoking and i try shisha, is it that bad actually?
I kinda had a argument with my mum yesterday.
Yesterdy, was not a good day to talk with me. I was in a messed,and when mum try to talk to me, it went all wrong, i cried. for like 1 or 2 hours.
it was pretty bad for me. i was stress, I am stress. and mum had to bring all the topics up. My mum says she doent know me anymore. Maybe she doesnt. I am different now, I want a life on my own. I want to rent a place, stay with ayun. Regardless of what she thinks. And so is Ayuns parents.

Here's another story. On sunday amy wants to go back to damansara. Then she went and see kane and i lepak with ayun.He send me home to damansara and guess what, the new keys for the rented place, it doenst fit. so i was stuck outside and ayun came to the rescue. we went back to his house and his mum halau me.how bad could it be? he wanted to send me back to kajang, but thank god he didnt. or not it would be worst to my mum. we went and sleep at 7E, in the van. It wasnt comfy and its kinda hot. im glad that ayun stick with me, throught thick and thin times.
oh and ayuns parent also want to "halau" him out. just cuz he stayed at my place for 2 nights.


And today i turn up to go to class and it turn out my class is cance.now im in college tengah teman budak2 amik exam lol.