boring lah

Yesterday i went for the training for the January job, and they give me a shirt that is quite fit, i think i really have to lose weight from now. it's terrible, im having double chin now..muiyee

After the training i went to see ayun (= and we didnt do nothing much, didnt even watch movie, i didnt have the mood. Plus i was sweating and all, and i was quite cranky. sorry sayang. My mum and my sister went to watch Australia in midvalley, and i didnt join them. Anyway dinner was at pavi, i ate the laksa and then we bought J.co donuts, ok now im donut-crazee. i want to go there another time and eat there, hee.

I remember to promise my friends to buy them J.co donuts if ever i got MARA loan, but sadly i didnt get it..

ok im so blur and my mind is not working straight.heh

yeah,its christmas baby

I never knew that blogspot have this setting so only bloggers can view my blog, from now on, no more pengacau reading and reporting. yahoo (thanks to tg.aishah for telling me.syg mu )

my friend, tg aishah came over and stayed , and i think she's bored with me =( cuz seriously im not a very good entertainer, unless if ayun's around. boo to myself.

Today i went out to my uncle's (uncle Alfred) place and celebrate christmas and i went to Uncle Paul's place. I ate at uncle Alfred but not at Uncle Paul. Every year we usually celebrate at Uncle Alfred's place, and when i went to Uncle paul's place, i became so blur because i didnt know anyone, including uncle paul. Even thought we are related ( i think) i cant even find a piece of my memory seeing his face, and i played Black Jack and i win 3 bucks. yipee.

Right now im tired and i really wanna see Ayun. What's with him that i'm so addicted to see him every single day *sigh*

*i'l edit later cuz nak mandi and cant wait to see my sayangness*

Tom

aww he's sick. batu karang thats why he's having trouble peeing.My mum and my little sis (amy) went to the vet and the vet insert a tube at his..umm..well im not sure what it is called, and pump all his pee.and amy says its unbelievable large amount of pee the vet pump out, and it stinks like hell. now tom is on meds, thats explain why his face looks like puss-in-boots, because he wants to get out from the cage/.plus He doesnt really want to take the meds, he vomit back all the meds, but we paksa him anyway, only 9 days to go until he can see the vet again. *poor tom*

privacy

Sometimes, i like to have my own privacy, from my family. i hate it when someone check my history so to know where i've surf the internet. Dont you just hate this kind of people in your family? not that they just invade my privacy, but even tell my mum about it. if my sister is ok, she doesnt really make a big fuss about it, but yeah, penyibuk always be penyibuk

i got my thumb terkepit with the car door less then two months ago, the day i got high. and its growing so slowly..........seriously.if you can see the picture of my thumb below, you'll see the obvious yellow colour nail. i can actually take it out because its like double layer, but i didnt want too because its still attached to my nail. lol.. what am i blabbing about i also dont know



i had a trip to PD with my college, and it was fun, i cant really tell much about it, because im scared the penyibuk will read, and tell my mum, and its a sad think dont u think. tsk2. my blog is like a private thing which i have to keep it to myself now. i'll figure out a way for the penyibuk not to read.maybe delte my history for this blog. we'll see how it goes. anyone of you have facebook? i upload loads and loads of picture in facebook, and you'll get the idea how fun the trip is. muiiiyeee. i wish i have my own laptop, so people wont bug to see my history *sigh*


my bestfriend tengku aishah maybe staying over at my place tonight and tomorrow night, see how it goes lah, maybe we're going for christmas shopping(when i say this, i mean that she shops alone XP i'm broke).tee hee hee. i thought of like going to melaka for the new year but im not hoping about it, im scared i might not have enuf money....hurm....

PD trip

Damn too much fun
and im still tired XP

sex drug and clubs

ok i steal the title from youth discussion.

Sex is ok, but random sex is so wrong,
Drugs is never ok unless for medical purpose (like people with cancer)
and clubs is ok if youth behave

Seriously, day by day we get things out of hand. Problems from families, and run away to club to have fun, take drugs to forget problems and tomorrow just wakeup with some random chick or random guy beside. GROSS. seriously, we youth are not responsible, hello, AIDS is on the high rise in Malaysia, and girls, we can easily get HPV.
Responsibilities. One you got it, you can never turn back. And most of us just, forget about responsibilities, we usually just follow our heart. ANd most of the time, its stupid and wrong

I;m stupid and wrong too.remember the drugs i took, yeah i got high and wanting to kill myself, what if i'd kill myself, *sigh*, i havent see the wonders of the world yet.

My friend just recently went to UK, and he's from a rich but religious family, and now i heard he's clubbing and drinking. sucks, it hurts to see him. If i had a chance to go to UK, i seriously just dont get into trouble. I'd be so glad my parents can send me there. He just dont realise he's so lucky to get a chance to go there, enjoy life and life life to the fullest. Instead, he waste it

I know another girl, she's from a very rich family, and she have a heart failure or something. Even when she's a baby, the doctor had to operate her heart in order to keep her alive. and she drink. seriously if she's my friend i would slap her. She's just wasting her time, if she just want to die faster i can help her.Like i stab her with a knife or something. TO hear her she's taking drugs and alcohol, it's just sad.

And rich daughter and son are MOSTLY like this. Ada problem sikit, then turn to pills, alcohol, clubs, sex

And this rich buggers starting to irritate me.

Like, seriously

new phone

Abg John lost his phone in China, he was using Nokia Communicator. SO kak jackie gave her phone to him , and i gave back the phone that kak jackie gave to me. So i bought a new phone, sony ericsson k800i.

And yes im in love with my phone. It's my "husband" now
*winks*

shrink

Tomorrow at 3pm.
Im not too proud of saying im going for counseling treatment, instead i feel dreadful if anyone know, it's like im crazy or sumthing, like im going to rehab.

But it does help alot. finally i have somebody to talk to, where i can tell about everything, and hide nothing. and i feel much better. i havent feel like much of smoking today, maybe partly because my tonsil is going again.lol

i had a talk with mum saying i really wanna go to study in UK. She of course support of my idea, but she really like me to go to US. Thats remind me of, she's trying to get my cousin's friends email so i can get to know them, she's trying to "pasang" me with one of them. Its crazy, my cousin is already is 30 plus if im not mistaken, even tho he's staying in California, *ehem, maybe exception if he have a celebraty friend XP* but my mum is like so into the idea, she even call my aunt and talk about this and all. its kinda embarrassing lol. im only 20 still...

bleh.right now i wanna concentrate one thing at a time..
studies, relationship, time and money

stronger&better

well im bored today, i completely waste my time sleeping. i slept around 12.30am, and woke up around 11am. and its raining so i slept again at 2pm or so, then wakeup at 5.30pm. tsk tsk. too much sleep dont u think?

Today nothing, even thought its hari raya korban i feel there is nothing to do. No one to stop by at our house anyway,
im used to it, even in raya. Relatives are mostly chinese, so why bother to come and eat meat, they cant eat meat.

Going back to Terengganu was so much fun. I met all buddies, laugh,jokes and talk about stuff. then i visit the beach and stuff.. gosh i wish i stayed longer. but its rainy season so it wouldnt be much fun. i wish to go back during the middle next year and enjoy the sun. funny huh, i should get use to the rainy cold whether if i wanna go study in UK.

Friday is my appointment for working during the weekend job. I hope i just, you know, stick to this job longer. some more can work in kajang, shouldt be much of a problem, i hope

next semester im going to take 3 subjects. 3 subjects so i can cope, and hope i can concentrate and not fall apart like this year.

smoking, so far its been a week i haven't smoke, but i do cheat abit. i smoke only abit, itu pun with ayun consent. and, i really miss it. like seriously, i know its unhealthy, and ayun kept saying i put cigarettes as my first priority, but he know its not true.bleh. i have to stop for good. but now i feel like a drug addict. like i really want to smoke but i cant. i have to stop

so thats it for today.my mind is rusty today because i havent do much thinking today, i've been so bored because i just still at home, sleep and laze around

i do think my blog is a bit boring because i keep saying about me aje. not like i need to talk bout other people, just that my life is abit.. well, colourful in away, but mostly dull

i wanna be stronger and better, for myself and my life

Pieces of my life

I like to fantasize alot, most of my life is day dreaming. In my earlier years, i always dream that i'd be in better place, what i'd be like if i have another parents, what i wasnt born. hah sound depressing lol
well i'm still dreaming about it, thinking about it, if only my parents gave me away, maybe i'll be better off, even tho right now i;d curse my parents for giving me away.

I'm dreaming now, to have my own car, to drive around and travel. When i went back to Terengganu, i almost cried. I never knew i;d miss it so much, the wind, gently blow my hair, even though it;s "serabut", but i like it. i will always love the beach. Part of my life, and most of my life, i would like to spend it on traveling. driving, flying, walking, sight seeing, all i would love to do. sometimes i just wish im taller and prettier so i can be a stewardess. so i can visit the 7-wonders of the world, see paris, go to anywhere and everywhere.

but this is, just a dream. a dream that i must pursue one day. a dream that i'd hold on until i'll get it.

oh yeah, i also dream that i'd study in UK, seriously im jealous my friends went there to study.huh. i wish my parents is rich. hah. dreaming again.

i'm going to take it the hard way, i wanna work on weekends, next semester i'd only take 3 subjects, and this time i'm going to do it properly. im going to study really hard, and play around less. im going to catch my dream, one step at a time.



when the time comes, i'll leave. i'll leave
everything behind, except for my dreams. Then
i'll fly, fly high to blue sky, and i'll never look back.