Simply me

Ok. So here it goes, stories about me.
I was still young but i knew what pain was
It wasnt just the pain u get from ur knees when u fall down
Or the pain when u feel, when u hit sumthing
I was still young
Didint knew what life was,
and there i was, feeling the pain
My parents were always fighting, were always screaming at each other
Didint know much, but i felt hurt. To see the crying and the screaming
I didnt have much friends when i was young
I USED to cry all the time, in school and at house
No one wanted to be my friend
And i was the loser.
I was the chinese looking girl,,and for that i was a joke
Should i blame them?Maybe its just me, did poorly in making friends
Should i blame my parents?
I didnt know who and what to blame,
and sometimes i feel like i should blame myself
Alot of things happen
From young till now,and althought i make a lot of mistkaes over and over
I'm still learning anyway

wonder how,when and why

I'm a girl who laughs and do goofy stuff with friends
But deep inside, im lonely
I'm the girl who's treating her bf like shit
And he keeps up with me
Im the girl who everybody thinks im tough
but im clingy to Ayun
I'm the girls who mostly do the wrong stuff
And for that i got lack of respect from my family
I'm the girl who walks and stay far away from her family
And i'm only 20 years old
I'm the girl who tries to be somebody
but no one notice
I'm the girl who tried suicide
And i say people who suicide is stupid
Im the girl
Im just a girl
Maybe going to be a woman soon
I wonder,
what life means
How i happen to be here
Why am i here
And what is m purpose of being here?

God, sometimes i think, i should really kill myself back then.

3.17am

Thats the time when im starting to type here. im listening to Oh chentaku new song in amp.channelv.


Good news, im so very damn lucky that i passed both papers in my CAT sem 1. only my agama, i feel that i need to work out on that,think i will repeat it.
Im going to do my best, but maybe i'll entend another semester, cuz i really tot of working abit.



You see, i didnt get the MARA loan. and i think taking ptptn is a bit to late now.
so yeah, currently im working in kak jackie's friend office in shah alam, an accounting firm. just like a data entry thingy and i'm going to stay with kak jackie during the weekdays as going back and forth from ampang is abit too far.
so far i learn that, first and the very first step when u have a busniess is that, KEEP ALL THE DAMN FRIGGIN RECEIPT if u are sending it to a firm for them to calculate. see, i had a hard time doing the acount cuz i dont friggin know what the owner gave me, sum receipt and invoice is missing, so its not balance and really im cracking my head to figure it out,


its weekend now, no work and i didnt go home. i'll appologise to mum esk, i feel guilty but i didnt want to be home. i feel so stress and tense with my family. seriously i feel better here. not that im always can be with ayun, stay late at night as long as i can, go out in the middle of the night, and bla2.. anyway i just..feel so serene. no serene is not the word.. just..relaxed.. yep im relaxed staying here. plus i starting to learn how to cook, i cook curry the other day. abit pekat la but nice. just a bit pedas. haha



ok i end my blog here. its already 3.26 am and pity ayun cuz he got to go to work in the morning.



tatty-ho