wonder how,when and why

I'm a girl who laughs and do goofy stuff with friends
But deep inside, im lonely
I'm the girl who's treating her bf like shit
And he keeps up with me
Im the girl who everybody thinks im tough
but im clingy to Ayun
I'm the girls who mostly do the wrong stuff
And for that i got lack of respect from my family
I'm the girl who walks and stay far away from her family
And i'm only 20 years old
I'm the girl who tries to be somebody
but no one notice
I'm the girl who tried suicide
And i say people who suicide is stupid
Im the girl
Im just a girl
Maybe going to be a woman soon
I wonder,
what life means
How i happen to be here
Why am i here
And what is m purpose of being here?

God, sometimes i think, i should really kill myself back then.