ok title di atas tiada kena mengena dengan apa yang ku ingin tulis
Actually im really bored. i at my college now posting this blog.. i came early today to college and i cant study. im going to monteng this evening class and go out with bf. main bowling, pool, movies. ahh the joy of KL. u have everything and sumthing to do.
I have to remind myself to clean up my messy room.im a lady and the room is lke ayun;s room (hah! not that bad la, i meant my room)
I find it very hard to study when it comes to reading subject. My paper II for CAT involves with alot of reading and memorizing. I just hope i pass it thou. Oh talking boout that, i felt like im fake. know why? cuz everytime agama class i will wear tudung and after class i'll take off my tudung. Wth. I kept remebeting the words of this particular song. "pakai tudung, masuk tanda buang tudung" or sumthing like that. the malay song that kutuk malays.
ok the point of me writing this today is.. im clueless. i havent done anything for my assigment and studies. BAD BAD Aisyah.
I have to go for interview today after 5 or 6 pm. An office in Shah Alam. Its far i know but if i got the job, then it'll be very good for me as i'll be working in a Charted Accountant office. Althought i think my job buat kopi, tolong photostat and stuff. see how it goes yeah?
Yesterday had dinner with Kak Jackie and Abg John in Subang Parade. We ate Kenny Rogers but i really3 feel like eating nandos. i love the sauce. *ehem* Semangat portugis ni!!! Kak mel is going to Batu Pahat. She got the KPLI or the perguruan thing. See, thing is, she's going to take the gen2. and mum told me that abg rahim is going to take the gen2. im sad. cuz i cant get the car. I know wth my records, i shouldnt be having a car. But its kinda unfair cuz when Kak Mel was in uitm doing her diploma and degree (when we were still back in Terengganu) She had the car. All for herself, I know shes a great driver and all. And yes i would be happy and galivant around if i have the car. But im not asking it for myself also. Im asking for mum;s behalf. Cuz if mum wants to go around, and if papa is not around, then i think its my job to send her. I know its a lame idea and alasan but.. i do care bout mum. and i dun think i wanna send her to ktm and she naik train etc. ANd i know abg Im needs the car to go to work. But he's staying in subang and the work is at taipan. why cant he go to work like before he met kak mel? why kak mel kena manjakan die sangat?
I dont understand. am i that bad? I do compare myselfwith other teenagers around and im proud to say im not like that. But im not like my sisters too. with them i feel like im a trash. Im like the black sheep or whateva u call it. But i dont do stuff as bad as other teenagers. And i do compare myself with good teenagers too. haih.....
Im 20 and i'm still confuse. COnfuse with who i am, confuse with what i am. With where i wanna be in the next 5 or 10 years. Seriously, i really dont know.Im twisted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so the moral of the story is
can sumone give me teh recipe for famous amos and belanja me nando's?
hehe
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come to think of it. i went through the same thing when i was your age. i was still unsure of what i wanted to do in life. i really had no idea so i took whatever i thought was cool and do-able for me. but in the end its all about finding yourself.
its never easy when you reach this point in life. its where you make one of the biggest decisions of your life. so many choices but which one should you go for? i wish i had known back then what i know now.
my word of advice is. despite how sucky studying is at the moment and how you might think that its not the right thing for you. just get it over with and after you're done, you can focus on the things that you really want to do. at least you have the papers to fall back on if anything.
and don't ever kick yourself down. it all starts with you girl. appreciate yourself and you'll find life to be a much happier place to live in. you might call it vanity, but if you can't love yourself then how do you expect others to love you? yea?
you're a great person. and although im not a firm believer of the saying that good things happen to good people, i really hope it applies to you. but whatever it is. im sure things will come around for you due time. :D you're still young and opportunities are abound.
stay happy sya. love you lots. :D
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