the morning coffee

When i was young, i used to smell the morning coffee that my mum made everyday..
The morning coffee just reminds me how innocent and naive i was when i was young, even there was a lot of problems, some how its just seems so far, and seems so small.

Now that my parents doesnt drink coffee anymore, i miss the smell.
The smell of my innocent,my naive time.

Now im going to be 21. 21 is like, adult. and still i have a lot of problems. Accidents, boyfriends, studies. problems after problems. and being me, i just would like to push these problems aside, but in the end they will haunt me again and again

The accident and the feelings make me back to square 1. It feels that i never done anything from last year until now, like i never improve abit in myself. I feel im back to whatever that makes me feel like shits.

I cried after the accident not because i hit another car, but because of this root. MONEY. Not everything in life is for free.. and Money is the root of all evil people say. People would steal for money, would do anything for money. Somehow i feel that way. Im not going to steal, rob, sell my body or sell drugs to get money. No no no. But i have to work for it. and work is hard.All i can work is to become a promoter. And all i get is just shits. Seriously,i have to have a sweet mouth to attact people to buy whatever product that i have to sell. And i'm just the kind of girl thats too honest, i should put it that way

I never give a thought of what people might say to me. But within my family members whatever they say its just like..it counts. every say, it counts.

Now im feeling suckish cuz i have to find money to cover up the holes. some are big and some are small, but a hole is still a hole. you cant live in a house where they are holes everywhere and u try to avoid it. Well It doesnt, for me.

I missed of the morning coffee. I used to be so free, so innocent, so naive, never have to think of problems, especially when problems come running to me.

Life is such a bitch.

And i have to suck it up.Like always