I was suppose to do a surprise cupcakes for ayun but i think i might cancel it. Yesterday i lost my handbag. sial gila. i even curse and say fuck to every msg that i sent to my sister.i have no money now, well i have its in the bank but i dont have atm card.
Ayun and i fight again yesterday, obviously its my fault, or his. He just reached KL and being an eager girlfriend, she just wants to see her bf. but bf have no mood like that, and she was worried like hell. bf didnt say he wants to go home and rest and hangout with family so gf sedih why bf x nak jumpe?and we have the silly fight he sais he'll stay at bandar tasik selantan if gf dont come, so gf come with her broken stupid fucked-up scooter.he still thinks i keep secrets from him and i scream the secret surprise that i want to do for him.anger. i was really angry. I dont know what i havent told him yet, i think i blurp out everything to him, about my life, my past, my hopes, my future, my addiction, every single thing that i feel, he knows it all. and its sad that he didnt want to share it with me too. from bandar tasik selatan to kajang on the stupid bike, somewhere along i musta have lost my handbag. tried to retrieve it but could find it anywhere. so offically my days will sucks again
Times like this i wonder if ayun ever love me, or what would happen if we're not together. surely he can find a better girl, and maybe i'll stay single. or im not around anymore. Life always suck so i have to suck it up. i always have to suck it up because thats the only thing i can do, and thats the only saying i always say when life gets me down;
Life is such a bitch, but suck it up.
Ive been wondering if the counseling,does it help me actually?
i feel that i am back to square 1.