There was this little girl, young and naive.
She always wished to the shiniest star
and the beautiful rainbow
that she wants to love,
and she wants to be loved, someone to share her part of her heart with
She grew tired of waiting, and tired of wishing,so she lost faith in believing.
Soon she turn into a young women,and barely even know what is "love" all about
But she felt that, she was in love... sadly the boy didn't want to share his part of his heart
She was bummed, but she got over it, later when she was in high school, she looks at boy after boy and just wishing that they share they heart with her, but never came to happen.
Her heart bleed, but it heals quickly.She was still young and naive,but soon she found out that this was only a "crush". she wonder why people give that name, maybe because she feel crushed after admitting she was in 'love'
Soon she became a young adult, and she started to fool around.Later she found a way to get to know boys better ; internet. she joined mirc and began chatting. She felt ugly because no one respond to her, so she was anonymous in the internet, nobody can see her, and she accept some boy who wanted to be with her, look doesn't matter to her, just so she can share a part of her heart...
But then she met this guy, she was fooling around at first, and the guy fooled around too, She barely know this guy, but she thought he was decent, a diamond in the rough. He never ask about women or girls, just chat whatever they feel like it. She was hooked.
Soon after she met this guy, she thought, simple, not bad for looks, just a bit malayish looking, but she didn't care, he wanted to share his part of his heart to her, so she accept.
A young woman and a young man, barely reach their 20's, but they share their lifetime, and their heart.Soon she became jealous, she compare even the smallest things,and so she became demanding, she only look at his flaws... and this was her biggest mistake, even she doesn't want to admit it at first.
She forgot how special this young man is, how special he is in many ways..she forgot what a great guy he is..
One day,the young man just decided to walked away,and she began to wonder what she went wrong, and she realize it was mostly her mistakes.
When he left, she was thinking that she is free, so free and she can do whatever she wanted to do without the young man stopping her to pursue her wishes, she can pierce anywhere she want, she can do tattoo if she wanted too, nobody can say no, not even her parents, she know her parent will just gradually let go of her and she realize that...
She was losing a part of her. She doesn't really matter what she can and cant do, she just beginning to miss his touch, his soft kisses, his warm hug. She doesn't give a second thought now about her freedom, she just want him back. And she pleed and beg,for him to return, and he didn't willing at first, even she knows she still in his heart, and she promise to change herself, a better image of her. And he agreed.
Thats the story for the little girl, who is a lady now, or a woman, reaching her 21st year soon enough and she just want to be happy beside her half. She cant go on being just "half" , walking aimlessly...
Sya and Ayun.I just want to be happy by Ayun's side, walking hand in hand and smiling and do stupid silly and goofy jokes. Whenever i see Ayun's face, even if i had a worst day of the year, he manage still to make me smile, even he's late, even i just had a really bad fight with my parents or my siblings.
But i just cant understand why he still can make my heart beat fast, after 6 years knowing each other, after 6 years of up's and down's. He still manage to make my heart beat like crazy, every time.Now i just feel im living in a dream, where i mend my mistakes, and just grab every moment she can have with him.
I love you Ayun